The Power of Three
by lillyflynn
Summary: Alice is a messed up girl with a messed up problem... three beautiful boys, one glorious summer. When the four return to school after the break, matters become evermore complex. The secrets of the summer always find a way of coming to the fore... AU AH
1. The Power of Three

**Preface – Summer**

**?**

We'd been lying here like this all afternoon Alice and I, in our usual spot, lolling in the shaded hammock at the far end of her garden. Shaded by resplendent oaks and delicate willows, we didn't utter a word. It was what we did.

"I'm far too big a personality for such a small town, you know" Alice's words danced as lazily as the summer wind. I suppressed a smile. Her first words to me in an hour were a declaration of her self importance. Of course they were. Like me, her overconfidence was rivalled only by her nonchalance. It was one of the reasons we were such good friends.

"And I'm far too pretty a boy to lay here with you all day" I retorted sardonically, tipping an imaginary hat and rising fluidly from my own place on the hammock. "Later, Alice."

"Good day, Sir." She tipped her own non-imaginary hat, a beat-up old fedora, and brought it to rest over her face, tucking her lithe arms behind her head. I seized on the rare opportunity to drink her in, away from her penetrating gaze. I savoured these stolen moments. Taking in her dark, unruly waves, I felt a familiar tightening in my chest. Beautiful. Her gorgeously petite frame, so small and classically feminine, yet so exceptional in its combination of curves and slimness and shapeliness and litheness and... _beautiful_. I groaned inwardly, I'd been standing here too long. As I loped out of the overgrown garden, I turned back just once and cursed myself as soon as I did. She was sat up in the hammock; fedora tipped back, white summer dress splayed out around her, her hair wild, resplendent. As she stared at me, eyes penetrating once again, my nonchalance won over. I saluted once more before tucking my hands in my pockets. Alice was beautiful.

**Chapter one – The Power of Three**

**Alice**

_Summer had been heaven_, I thought as I laid in bed. _Painful, torturous, masochistic heaven_.

I'd whiled it away in stages with the three of them, each boy different, each boy completely wonderful. I had spent most of my time with Edward. Quiet, proud, brilliant Edward, whose poetry recitals on the hammock had been electrifying. I'd known him most of my life. He was the quintessential - and literal - boy next door. My childhood hero. I met Jasper, a guy from school, while I was at a gig with Edward. As soon as I saw him I could not tear my eyes away, and, to Edward's extreme dismay, I haven't had to. He was quite possibly the most beautiful boy I had ever seen, with unkempt blond hair that hung low, tickling the long eyelashes that framed his strikingly blue eyes. We jammed on the same hammock where Edward and I had spent so much time together, then he played me songs and make me feel weak with emotion as we lay, swinging in the midsummer breeze. Neither of them liked Emmett. Funny, sweet, daft Emmett. The afternoons spent with him on the hammock had made me weak in an entirely _different_ way. Despite this, I hadn't opened my heart to any of the three, and neither of the three had opened their heart to me. Like I said, painful, torturous, masochistic heaven.

I'd been dreading this day for quite a while. School was starting up again and it was starting in less than two hours. I wasn't prepared! It wasn't the thought of having to re-submerge myself into ritualised education that bothered me. Oh, no. It was the thought of having to see those three beautiful boys all within the confines of one building. All three of them wanting to _talk_ to me, _eat_ with me, be _around_ me, but did not want to be around each other. I groaned at the irony. This time last year I was going through a phase of total misanthropy, revelling in my own company and not even allowing Edward in. I'd sailed though the whole year in a haze as a self indulgent, introspective self-doubter. Then I decided to let Edward back in, and I started to become human again. Then, when I met Jasper and his brilliant I-don't-give-a-fuck-attitude, I decided I really didn't give a fuck either. And I really didn't. I stopped worrying about the boys.

The alarm rang, startling me though I'd been awake and daydreaming for well over an hour. I muzzed my hair and yawned, before heading for the shower. I'd deal with it all when the time came.

Rooting through the laundry basket for something clean-ish to wear, I happened upon a waistcoat of one of my dad's expensive suits. I shrugged. I liked it. Teamed with a band T, some daisy dukes and my beat up old Doc Martins, I felt content. I pulled my fingers through my drying hair, astonished at the amount it had grown over the summer. Last year I'd had short hair that spiked errantly all about my face. It now fell past my shoulders in soft and wavy tendrils, tamed somewhat with the added weight. I messed it up to make it wilder, topping it with my trusty fedora. A little mascara, eyeliner and bronzer later and I was good to go. _What a difference a year makes_, I sighed inwardly as I scooped up my backpack.

I didn't have a car, but I did have a mean bike. Well, my second-hand dad's Raleigh, but whatever, it got me places. Normally, Edward or Jasper drove me places or Emmett sent a chauffeured car. Today, I felt like cycling.

I rounded the corner into the school, lifting my right leg up and over the seat to balance on the left hand side until it rolled to a stop.

"Sweet." Jasper leant against his horrifically rusty VW van a few yards ahead, appraising me with his lazy blue eyes.

"Me or my bike skills?" I teased rolling the bike over to him and bumping fists.

He pretended to contemplate his answer. "You." He drawled at last. "Awesome Docs."

I propped the bike up against the van and leant back next to him. "Thanks. Here." I took off the fedora and popped it on top of his gorgeous, messy hair. "You're pretty damn sweet too." I blew him a kiss and headed into school with adrenaline buzzing in my veins. Who am I kidding? Of course I gave a fuck.


	2. Breaking Out The Badass

**Here is the redone chapter two. I'm pacified now, I think it's a bit better :)**

**I own nout!**

**- - - - - - - - - - -**

**I heard she broke your heart again, so now you're gonna come and see me.**

**We're back to the start, again, when's she gonna set me free?**

**I've been there time and time again.**

**The girl's no good for me and you**

**she hurts me, too.**

**--'Heartbreaker', Metronomy.**

**- - - - - - - - - - -**

**Jasper**

I watched her retreating figure with my heart in my throat. Jesus, she was hot. I tentatively ran my finger along the rim of the fedora before yanking it off my head and fanning my face. I was getting hotter by the second.

_She has the sexiest legs of any girl I've ever seen._ I thought wistfully. _The sweetest face, the cutest ass, the nicest smile... _I stopped short. Orchids... ohhh. I'd been fanning her phenomenal smell into my face. I closed my eyes and let it envelope me, the associated memories refreshing me like the reprieve of a summer rain shower. Lazy afternoons in the garden... bonfires on the beach... climbing onto the roof of the VW and dancing... drinking JD and coke and just laughing and laughing. She didn't now that I'd left the guys hanging more than once to rush to be with her when she was freaking out again, just like she didn't know I hadn't been able to see any other girl for a month now. Then again, she probably wouldn't care. It both frightened me and fascinated me how she didn't seem fazed by anything, that all she ever wanted to do was cause controversy. I was just glad that I was the guy she wanted to be controversial with.

Well, apart from that bastard Emmett McCarty. He'd been sniffing around her the last few weeks. I didn't like that at all. I couldn't work him out, Alice just didn't seem his type. She was too unpredictable, too volatile... they didn't make sense. Not like me and her. Edward Cullen was around her a lot too. But I had nothing to worry about there, they were old friends. Plus, he was too straightedge for a girl like Alice.

Alice was just... _it_. She wasn't just legs and face and ass... Alice was just fucking awesome. I ached for her to give me something, anything. Something to let me know that I wasn't suffering for nothing, that I wouldn't eventually have to walk away in sheer frustration just to save my heart from imploding. I shook myself out of my reverie as the she disappeared into the entrance of the school. Planting the fedora right back where she'd left it, I strolled after her, tipping back the brim of the hat with my thumb and admiring the view.

**Edward**

I watched their exchange with hard eyes. Look at him. _Leering_ at her. Fucking idiot.

I gripped the steering wheel, hard. I had no idea why I was watching them like this again. When did I develop these obsessive tendencies? My rhetorical question had sparked an uncomfortable burn in my chest. _Right about the same time that Alice started to screw with your brain again_, the venomous part of my mind supplied for me.

That can't be right. I wouldn't let it happen, not again. Not when I'd just finally began forced myself to think of her as just Alice, the girl next door. _The girl you dream about, the girl who you've wanted for as long as you can remember, the girl who you lo-_ I whacked my hand against the wheel, aggressively re-entering my thoughts. Fucking hell, I _didn't_ love her. She liked to tease, to imply and then take it back as soon as your hopes were up. There was just something about _Alice.._. she was like a siren, calling me to her side incessantly. I rubbed my eyes and sighed.. I was so tired of this. I wanted out. New year, new beginnings. I wouldn't allow myself to drown in her again, last year had been bad enough. I almost died with all of the unrequited feeling and there was nothing worse than feeling non-existent to a girl you would gladly give everything to. It was fucking _dire._

I unbuckled my seatbelt and let myself out of the silver Volvo. Patting the roof absently, I appraised the vehicle. Solid, nondescript and practical... if ever there was a car that described a person. I stopped in my tracks and gave a tight, self conscious laugh at my unusually dismal thought pattern. Is this was thinking about Alice did to me? I _really_ needed to lighten up. I hoped I hadn't been like this last year. Swinging my backpack onto my back and loping toward the school, I vowed that this year would be different. I would get over Alice, I wouldn't let her consume me. I wouldn't even _think_ about-

"Hey, uh, excuse me?"

As her meek voice penetrated the complexities of my mind, I did a literal double take. I hadn't even noticed there was another person in the parking lot, let alone this beautiful girl. She was stood next to a beat up old truck, imploring me with her eyes to stop. Something about her compelled me to do so immediately. She was mesmerising. Soft where Alice was sharp, mild where Alice was acerbic. Her hair fell in soft Raphaelite waves to the middle of her back, her velvet skin dabbled with a light rosy flush at her cheeks. But it was her eyes that had stopped me in my tracks. They were almond shaped, which was striking, but the colour was... _wow. _In the sunlight, they were such a light brown that they were almost glowing amber. I'd never seen anything like them. It was around this point that I realised I was quite openly staring.

She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, hi. I'm Bella Swan. I'm new... I'm not sure where I'm meant to be headed..?" She looked so unsure of herself, so unaware of the spell that her eyes had woven all about my heart and lungs, constricting intermittently to remind me to breathe. I felt thoughts of Alice ebbing away, though not disappearing. They never disappear fully. I wasn't sure how long I stood there before I found my voice.

"I'm... Edward. I'm Edward Cullen. I can take you. I'll look after you." I smiled in what I hoped was a pleasant manner, but my facial muscles felt out of practice. I held out my arm for her books, ever the gentleman, and led the way. _Wow_, I exhaled internally. _Wish for something hard enough..._

**Alice**

I felt him behind me before I even had to turn around. You know when you can just _feel_ that someone has a good energy? Like everything around them is golden and sparking with electricity? Emmett was most definitely one of those people. Sure, he can be a douche sometimes but he was of the sweetest guys I knew. It kinda sucked that he was the most popular guy in school, it planted a seed of severely unwanted doubt in my mind as to what his true intentions with me were. I'm not sure I really cared. I most definitely was _not _a popular guy's kind of girl. Too complicated, you might say.

He grabbed at my waist with his massive hands, pulling me backward and into his broad chest. I feigned disinterest, he didn't need to know I missed him. Which I had. Like crazy.

I tugged myself out of his grip, not caring for a show just yet.

"Hey, Pixie." He ran his index finger down the side of my face. A surprisingly intimate gesture, I noted. "What's the deal? Didn't you miss me? I missed you."

I soothed his apprehension with a slow half-smile, folding my arms across my chest. I had to admit, Emmett was fairly cute. Cute... not hot like Jasper or handsome like Edward. Emmett was built, though somehow managed to exude all the soft, cuddly innocence of a teddy bear, all curly brown hair and big, expressive eyes. He imitated my stance, complete with an exaggerated hip roll. I snorted. Emmett took the piss out of me like no one else. I needed it. Screw the bullshit, he always saw right through it anyway. I flung my arms around his neck, suddenly needing to be near him, to close the distance between me and normal, decent humanity.

We stayed like that for a while, earning some raised eyebrows, looks of bemusement and outright incredulity from our fellow classmates. _Rosalie..._ I smiled darkly at the scene we were creating, tearing me any when any melancholic thoughts I'd been harbouring. I hadn't realised the ways in which this harmless gesture may be perceived. I didn't mind in the slightest... I did like to ball up expectations and throw them full force out of an open window.

"And I did miss you, you know Alice."

I looked at him, long and hard. He was so sincere... so kind and caring all the time. I bet he would be a perfect boyfriend. For someone else, of course. Emmett and I were strictly physical.

He set me down and playfully took my hand while we walked to a free desk, proceeding to tell me about the party he'd been to the night previously. _Rosalie... _I half-heartedly listened to his excitable rambling. I was too bemused to listen. We had apparently caused absolute mayhem with our PDA. Anyone would have thought we'd had sex right there and then on the classroom floor. We we're _that_ surprising a combination, surely.

I don't know why I was surprised at what happened next. Controversy stalks me like a shadow. It's the pepper on my steak, laces in my Docs. It's a vastly recurring theme in my life, it makes me me I guess. I suppose, on some level, it helps to hold me together.

The classroom door swung open with a resounding _crack_. All heads, my own included, snapped toward the doorway in surprise. There, glowing in the fluorescence of the hall lights, stood a vision. She was gorgeous. A beautiful archangel of blonde hair and pink cheeks, of full red lips stretched back into a truly terrifying snarl and seething, hate-filled eyes... yep, positively angelic. Her manicured claws curled into white-knuckled fists as she vibrated with barely controlled rage. Who the _fuck_ was _this_? I flipped through my mental rolodex. I had trouble placing her. Then again, I had trouble placing most people. I had been barely conscious for years.

The Angel stalked over to where I sat, eyes trained on mine and Emmett's linked hands. I appraised her contorted face, then our hands, then slid my gaze back to her. _Ohhh._ I stood quickly, slipping my hand from his.

She stopped barely a centimetre from my face. And then she just... stared. Well, this was odd and vaguely unpleasant. Was she waiting for me to say something?

The absurdity of the situation was far just too much... like suppressing the urge to laugh in the face of an optometrist when they were examining your eyes and were far too close to your face. However, where I always successfully stayed on the cusp in those situations, I failed dismally in this. I laughed. I laughed and laughed like it was the funniest joke I'd ever heard. I couldn't stop. If the situation hadn't been as weird as it was, it would have been the best feeling ever.

Apparently, and quite understandably, the Angel did not share my sentiment. She turned purple with rage at my outburst. I wanted to get her a cold compress or something, or just tell her to chill the fuck out. She would burst a blood vessel if she wasn't careful.

"What. The. _Fuck." _She snarled.

Emmett chose that second to cut in, yanking me back and stepping in front of me just as she lunged. I made a mental note to compliment Emmett on his risk assessment later.

"Rosalie, baby," He cooed.I groaned inwardly. If I hadn't fully comprehended the situation before, realisation now well and truly smacked me in the face. I heard snippets of their conversation as he placated her. "She's my friend, Rose!... little slut...I love _you_ baby... what the fuck!"

So Emmett wasn't so sweet. Damnit, I liked him all the more for it, especially now that I knew what his true intentions were. So I was his bit of rough, huh. I was sure I should feel vaguely hurt, or betrayed, or some other related emotion, but I didn't. I couldn't. Feelings were not what I signed up for with Emmett.

I ducked under Roselie's flailing arms and swung my bag over my shoulder, suddenly not in the mood for Sociology. I looked back just once to observe the damage. Half of the class were watching the nuclear argument unfolding before them. The other half had their eyes firmly trained on my retreating behind.

This year may be rather interesting.

**- - - - - - - - - - -**

**Now I feel much better :) Alice was a little **_**too**_** foolhardy in the last version. Sorry for posting it when it wasn't up to scratch!**


	3. Patient Girl, Jealous Girl

Okay. So the previous two chapters were me playing the story by ear and going wherever my imagination took me, but I feel that last chapter was a bit hit or miss. It had lots of clichés and it was a bit lazy, so I think I might revise it. I've gone back and drawn up a solid storyline, so I promise that there will be better story development now that each main character has been introduced :)

Okay, here goes it.

**I don't own anything!**

**_______________________________________________________**

**And I never wanted anything from you,**

**except all of everything you have**

**and what was left after that too, oh.**

**--'The Dog Days Are Over', Florence and the Machine.**

**_______________________________________________________**

**Alice**

Well, that was unexpected.

I wonder what Emmett was thinking when he started pawing at me like that in public. He must have known that Rosalie would be close by, I mean, everyone else seemed to. The illuminating spectre of hindsight fleetingly reminded me of the few minutes prior to the fallout. _Rosalie.._ I'd overheard her name mentioned in hushed tones before she'd barged her way into my consciousness. They may have just been firing up the rumour mills in preparation for the eventual onslaught. Who knew? I was more concerned with Emmett's reaction. He'd looked just as bewildered as everyone else, if not more so. Odd.

No wonder everyone had acted so crazy, that girl's temper was like nothing I'd ever seen. The epic scene that had transgressed could not have happened in a more public place... nowhere was less private than in front of a class full of bored teenagers. I didn't mind, but that sea hag Jessica Stanley was probably bursting with pleasure at the scene and I didn't want to deliver her any kind of happiness. She was the worst kind of vacuous evil.

By lunchtime I will have surpassed fame and headed straight on into glorious infamy, to live on forever as' the girl who survived Rosalie's wrath'. Well, that sucked. I would have at least liked to be infamous on my own terms.

I slunk down the corridor as the tardy bell rang, long and shrill. I winced at the pitch. Rosalie owed one hell of an apology to my eardrums. I didn't know where I was going, but I certainly wasn't going back to class. It was one thing to savour scandalous social dramas but I didn't have a death wish. Emmett may have saved me that time but Rosalie had looked positively murderous, like she wanted nothing more than grind me to dust. I had no doubt that she probably could. Or maybe she would pay someone to bump me off? Emmett had that kind of money, maybe she did too. She had looked horrifically high maintenance.

I was close to liberation now. The main entrance was a few meters away, its heavy doors swinging back and forth gently, beckoning me with each temperate sway of the wind. I breathed in the fresh air, long and deep. It was sunny, as if it were still the height of July rather than the beginning of September. I tightened my grip on my backpack, ready to pick up the pace if I was caught as I passed the main office. Keeping my head down and my shackles up, I lightly paced toward the entrance. That's it, almost there...

In my peripheral, I could see the vague movement of someone shuffling out of the office, then...stop. Whoever it was had stopped at the sight of me. I cursed my curiosity as I hazarded a glance at them. And then I saw his beautiful bronze hair.

"Edward," I breathed, letting out the breath that I hadn't known I had been holding. I was surprised to see him out of class. If he was surprised to see me, he wasn't showing it. I smiled at that thought. He knew me well enough not to admonish, even with a subconscious look.

It only when he started toward me that I caught sight of the girl. Half hidden by his frame as they exited the office, she cut a very unremarkable figure. If I had thought my shackles were up before, now I was positively bristling with presentiment.

But as his face broke into the familiar dimpled grin of my childhood events of the previous fifteen minutes melted away into nonexistence. He was such a beautiful boy, all clean lines, messy hair and sparkling eyes. Very... _wholesome._ If this were a story, he would most definitely be the good guy. And I'd be the crazy, fucked up-

"Alice! How'd the first day shaping up?" He leant against the wall, blocking my path with his arms folded. I laughed noiselessly. He was quietly letting me know that he knew what I was up to. That's so Edward. Why couldn't he just confront me? It was only then that I noticed that the mousey girl had followed him over to where I stood, looking profoundly uncomfortable. She didn't seem to know what to do with her hands. I turned back to Edward with a toothy smile.

"Exhilarating. People are a little too highly strung on the first day of school, though. A little... jumpy."

They couldn't have possibly known I was referring to Rosalie, and I didn't enlighten them as such. I _wanted_ them to take it as I thought they might, to gauge their reaction. To gauge their obvious attraction to one another. Rolling my weight onto one hip, I appraised her openly. She had flushed a deep red, her eyes downcast to avoid mine. Edward's stern eyes, however, were burning a hole in the side of my face. I snapped my attention back to him. "Coming with? I've had enough inane interaction for one day, I need some real company." I restrained my smile to stretch across my face slowly, suggestively.

He bit his lip. I loved when he did that. He looked so unsure and uncomfortable with the situation that I almost wanted to take back the offer just to make him feel more at ease. Almost. I wanted him to come with me, but I knew he wanted to stay with this girl. I premeditated his response.

"Actually, I can move around better alone. Got my bike. Stay here with..." I raised my eyebrows at her. She flushed _again_. Did she have any blood in the rest of her body? She was wringing her hands in her sweater.

"Bella. My name's Bella." I offered her a small smile. I made her nervous. I always tended to make people nervous. Jasper once told me it was because I always had a really intense look in my eyes. Even though I didn't mean to, I didn't resent it.

"Well, hi Bella. I'm Alice Brandon." I held out a hand and she took it. Weak wrist.

"I'll let you go then, Edward-and-Bella. Have fun kids." I smiled wildly, it felt fake even to me. This situation was... new. I could sense the attraction just as evidently as I could sense good energy. Edward never had any interest in anyone, what was special about her? I'd offered myself on a plate more than once and he'd never taken me up on the offer. Sure, I may have said it in jest, but I was just testing the water. Everyone knew there was an element of truth in jokes... or was that lies? It didn't matter, he didn't want me. I didn't care. Since then it became easy to close myself off, almost too easy. Last year had been bliss, no infantile emotions, no heart wrenching interaction. Then Edward had pushed his way back into my life and ripped my scarred heart clean open. Then I met Jasper and he helped me heal. And then came Emmett and he helped me, well, orgasm. In light of the situation, I thought I'd handled being faced with the object of Edward's affections remarkably well. Although, I did feel a little niggling at my conscience for making the girl... Bella... feel so uncomfortable. Suffice to say, it had been a long, long time since I'd listened to my conscience.

As I strolled out into the brilliant sunshine, an errant thought developed into an deeply uncomfortable realisation. I had just encountered two of my summer boys with a significant other. Significant as in, any other girl but me. Emmett I could deal with, we weren't serious in the slightest. He was my light relief from own thoughts. But Edward? Edward belonged to me, he always had. I loved him. I _loved_ him.

**Bella**

"This is the office just here. First door on the right." He stopped and flashed me a boyish grin. _Wow, he was very handsome._ "Not that there are many doors marked 'Office'. Sorry." Now he was mumbling? Handsome _and_ humble? Surely this boy was too good to be true...

I smiled gratefully and shook my head to dismiss the apology. I glad of his company, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Plus, he seemed to like me... that is _if_ I was reading his looks properly. I don't know. I was rubbish at stuff like that.

Once the introductions were out of the way in the office and I'd gathered my timetables, I realised that Edward was still there, slouching by the door. He'd stayed. That's got to mean something, right? Unless he was just one of those overly helpful types, or maybe he needed something from the office himself...

As I approached, he pushed himself away from the wall with his foot and scooped up his bag from the floor. I felt myself flush. He had stayed for me. He took a quick glance at my timetable.

"Hmm, not bad, not bad." He grinned and jabbed a finger at the first box. "Great, you're with me in Sociology. I can walk you." _Well, if he was one of those overly helpful types, I didn't mind in the slightest_, I thought as he led the way out of the office door.

"We can get to know each other better in this period." He flashed me another of those smiles, my heart ga-lumped against my ribcage. "Ms. Hatton takes us for this. She's harmless enough and a fair marker, but she's-" I walked into the back of his now stock still frame. _Ooof_. Whatever had mase him stop had startled him. As quickly as he'd stopped, however, he began moving again. Then I caught a glimpse of what –or rather, who- he had been startled by.

She was a wild creature. Undone and tousled, undeniably striking. I tugged on my sweater, suddenly feeling extremely and irrationally uncomfortable. One word dominated my consciousness like a flashing red beacon... _intimidating_.

I followed Edward over to where she stood. He'd been kind enough to wait for me, the least I could do was return to favour. As I stood before her, I came to wish I hadn't. The hostility was rolling off of her petite frame in waves, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Her sharp, penetrating eyes appraised me ruthlessly, not caring whether I caught her. Who _was_ this?

"... a little...jumpy..." I caught the end of her sentence. Was she talking about me? I blushed. Oh Lord, why did I always have to blush? I tried to hide the worst of it so that she wouldn't think I was a complete sap.

"Coming with?" I understood the underlying implication. _Come with me...leave her._ She was using everything she had to try to get rid of me without implicitly saying so. Did she like Edward? Oh Lord, was this his _girlfriend? _That would certainly explain the looks. Edward was hesitating. He was _hesitating_. Hope sparked on the periphery of my body, exuding from every pore. Please, say _no_..

She answered for him, he face indignant. "Actually, I can move around better alone. Got my bike. Stay here with..." Oh, here's my cue to actually use my paralysed voice box. I admonished myself on my weakness of presence.

"Bella. My name's Bella." She gave me a tight, fake smile. I winced. Why was she being so unfriendly? Her eyes were boring in to me. It was one of the most painful social situations I had ever been in.

"Well, hi Bella. I'm Alice Brandon." She clipped. She held out a hand and I took it. Aggressive shake.

As she released us from her death stare and sauntered out of the doors, I heaved a sigh of relief. I don't think I'd ever met anyone quite so _angry. _How could someone as lovely as Edward be friends with her? Shaking my head minutely, I looked to Edward for some kind of enlightenment. He was staring after her, with a look that can only be described as wistfulness etching his handsome features.

**I've decided I'm definitely going to rework Chapter 2. I rushed it and it sucks.**

**Have a look at some of Florence and the Machine's stuff on YouTube.. particularly 'Girl With One Eye' and 'The Dog Days Are Over'. She's a whole lot of awesome! I love getting song recommendations and sharing music, so I'll share a couple at the end of each chapter :)**


	4. Of Heart and Body

**Okay. So it's Saturday morning, I have my lucozade, breadsticks and houmous (the spelling seems all wrong, I know, but that's what it says on the tub. Who can argue with Tesco, right?) and I've got Ok Computer on repeat. Best. Day. Ever.**

**In light of this wonderful news, I'll make this an extra wonderful chapter and try to get a lot of ground covered. Also if you can, listen to 'The Small Print' by Muse. That song is just the greatest song... probably ever. It's what I listen to every time I write a new chapter, so I'm making it my story song. Okay, enough pointless context.. let's go!**

**____________________________________________________________________________**

**I want to know, I want to hold**

**the girl who can't be owned.**

**Let into your soul**

**deep inside your mystery**

**a vow of secrecy, never let you go.**

**-- 'I Started A Fire', Ash**

**Jasper**

I caught her as she was leaving school. I was staring absently out of the window in Chem, conjuring images of a wild night we had had in Port Angeles and she was just... there. Materialised just for me. Strutting across the parking lot with her delicate chin jutting out and her hands buried deep in her pockets. Even in consternation she just looked so... indescribably superior. I needed to be with her again.

I stood up, nodded politely to Mr. Josephs and left the room. Just because I was defying his authority didn't mean I could be polite. He was used to me doing whatever the hell I wanted anyway, and let me pass equally as politely with not a flicker of remonstration on his be-jowled features. Don't make a fuss and I won't make a fuss, I had once told him. I was impressed that he had chosen to comply almost immediately; many teachers still hoped that I could be reformed. Hope is a luxury.

I made it to the parking lot just as Alice was mounting her bike. I slowed to a jaunt as I approached her, she didn't need to know I'd rushed for her.

"Well, hello there beautiful. Leaving so soon?"

Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice, but didn't seem especially surprised. She had once teased that I always seemed to appear from thin air whenever she needed someone. I let her think that is was fate or coincidence or magic. The reality was far less believable. She didn't know that I was always checking up on her, that I made sure her every need was met and that she was well looked after. She didn't know that I loved her.

"Hey, Jasper. I'd ask how you knew I was here but I know you'd never tell me."

She sounded resigned. What had infiltrated the impenetrable shell of Alice Brandon? I rearranged my features in a split second, switching from concern to irritating smugness. My resolve to stay nonchalant around Alice was slipping away more and more these days. She didn't seem to notice, though.

"Actually, this time I can. I saw you out of the Chem window." I grinned as she groaned in realisation. "Let me tell you, Ali my dear, you aren't exactly the poster girl for stealth."

"I was lost in my own head. I didn't even think of the windows," She laughed, her eyes shining, her hair dancing. Jesus, can't she even laugh now without me composing poetry?

"...rookie mistake." She'd been talking, damn. I smiled what I hoped was a placating smile and she smiled back. Good, I hadn't blown my imperturbable front. I needed to focus.

"So, where are you headed? It just so turns out that I have the day off," I smiled lazily at her, allowing her to make the invitation. Let her think that she was the eager one.

"I was thinking of heading to the beach. It might be the last sunny day we have for a while, I want to savour every second." She looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. Without skipping a beat, she added, "I'll see you later, maybe."

Despite the fact that she was pushing off of the floor and rolling forward, I knew better than to think she was leaving. Of course she wanted my company. I waited patiently for my cue.

"Of course, I could give you a lift. That is, if _you_ wanted one." I called after her. Stopping, she cocked her head and pursed her lips.

"Well, I could do _you_ the favour of granting you some company for the day." Touché. I smiled at her easy manipulation of the situation. She knew I wouldn't say no. I knew I wouldn't say no. So I simply beckoned for her to get off of the bike so that I could bundle it into the back of my VW. Even if I was admitting defeat, I would never add insult to injury by uttering such words out loud.

___________________________________________________________________________

We hurtled to the beach, windows open, Karma Police blaring. Alice's hair rippled and danced like the waves we were driving to meet.

It was a good ten minutes into the taciturn journey before I felt the brush of fingers against mine on the gearstick. I looked at our entwined fingers, then at her face. She was looking out of the window, toward the sea, not addressing the action. She never did anything that could be confused as romantic. She was not a rash person, this meant something. And she didn't want to address to fact that she had made the first move. Whatever, I would take it.

I squeezed her fingers and swiftly focused my attention back to the road ahead. Feeling her gaze on the side of my face, I fought the urge not to break into a silly grin. I barely did smiling, let alone big silly grins; Jesus, this girl is making me completely lose the plot. Understanding this new pattern of events instantaneously, she raised our hands to the side of her face, leaning in to brush the back of my hand across her ridiculously smooth cheek. I suppressed my shudder. I looked, she looked away. Our hands went back to the gearstick.

Fighting with myself the whole way, I couldn't stop myself from bringing up her hand up to my mouth. I brushed my lips against the soft skin of the back of her hand, keeping my eyes locked on the road, never acknowledging her eyes.

And then she released her grip. The moment was gone; she has regained the upper hand but I didn't think I cared. I had kissed her, at last. The sense of relief that escaped along with my sense of one-upmanship at that one, small gesture was euphoric. I was hers, and I had let her know it. I was a slave to Alice.

___________________________________________________________________________

**Alice**

God, _damnit_! Why the hell did I hold his hand? I was acting like a lovelorn pre-teen. I looked out of the window, avoiding his eyes and the undoubted amusement that was sure to be in them. Jasper was the last person I would want to look a fool in front of. I had already resolved myself to unrequited, hopeless attraction; I didn't need to let him know.

Then I felt the squeeze. I hazarded a look over to him, but as I had been, Jasper was studiously avoiding my gaze. Moreover, he looked completely staid. What did this mean? I didn't bother to draw conclusions, he'd let me off the hook. I rejoiced internally at the impasse that had been created. Well, if I'm going to hell anyway...

I brought the back of his hand to my face, nuzzling into it like a cat. If he laughed at that one, I could easily pass it off as a joke; who nuzzled like a cat? I looked away just as he looked over to me, confusion and amusement animating his expression. He was going to do something to embarrass me now, I could just feel it. He was going to make me feel as stupid as I did whenever Edward didn't notice my advancements. I pulled my defences up.

I felt my arm lifting as he pulled my hand towards him. Oh Lord, I groaned. He wasn't going to do something crude was he? I prepared myself for every eventuality, ensuring my face remained as impassive as the most deadpan of comedians.

I didn't realise until I felt the brush of his soft, warm lips across the back of my hand that I had been holding my breath. The response that followed surprised even me; I don't think anyone had ever provoked such a sudden and extreme response from me. He obliterated my defences and shocked me to my very core. I yanked my hand back and folded them in my lap whilst I strengthened my resolve. My heart was hammering against my chest. It was only a chaste kiss on the _hand_ for goodness sake, my sanity reminded me. Fuck knows what I would be like should be ever –_gasp!_- try to kiss.. my.. lips! I snorted out loud and shook my head, trying to regain some kind of control. It worked.

It took a couple of seconds before I realised that Jasper was shooting intermittent glances my way. Was he gauging my reaction? Oh shit, he did he think I was laughing over the kiss?

"You should really stop teasing me, Jazz. You'll have my heart soon, not just my hand." I purposely kept my tone light and playful. He didn't need to know that I couldn't be completely sure that that wasn't actually the truth. And I was sure there wouldn't be any question at all, if it wasn't for the complication of Edward. I couldn't deny that I had been ravaged with jealousy back there at school. The situation had provoked feelings from me that I had buried long ago, and if anything, they were binding me more strongly than I remembered. I felt numb with untapped emotion. That was, until I felt Jasper's skin against mine.

Jasper's previously hurt expression broke into one of unparalleled joy, barely masked by his carefully practiced nonchalance. He looked like a dying man who had been given hope. Hope. He always said that hope was a luxury, I thought absently.

"You know me, Alice. Nothing stops me once set I set my eyes upon something that I want." He murmured, looking right into my eyes as though challenging my resolve to stop him. And following that one last admission, Jasper's passionate expression melted away into his useful aloofness, as if emotion was carefully stored away and filed under the 'To Be Continued' section of his brain.

I _didn't _want Edward, even though my heart told me so. I couldn't do it again, my sanity was barely rebuilt from the last time. Jasper was right here, and he'd finally admitted that he wanted me. I didn't love him, but what is love? My love for Edward only hurt me.

I can do this, I wanted Jasper. My body told me so every time he was near. So I knew what my heart wanted and what my body wanted; what did my mind want? I didn't want to know. My mind had betrayed me long ago, along with my heart, when I'd fallen for Edward. It had been easy to shut off my mind after that; but according to the events of earlier today, apparently not so easy to shut off my heart.

And so in silence we carried on along the main road to the beach, the cascading, haunting voice of Thom Yorke set against the sense of foreboding in the air.

________________________________________________________________

**I know there are quite a few people favouriting and story alerting this story but not commenting, so I thought it may be easier to comment if there was something to answer to. Whilst telling me whether or not you like this story, how about you offer up a song to the playlist? I love new music!**


	5. Hold Me, Love Me

I'm on a roll today! Two updates, how grand.

It's to make up for the fact (also partly to me, because I do love to write) that I won't be updating for a while. End of year assessments and exams and general hellishness await my reluctant being :(

If you comment, let me know what you think of the story. I love feedback more than I love honey on fries, and that is a hell of a lot (It's not disgusting; it's a savoury sweet delight. TRY IT.)

**I own nothing but the clothes on my back and the exclusive rights to honey on fries.**

**_________________________________________________________________________**

**Two sides twist and then collide.**

**You're calling off the guards,**

**I am coming through.**

**Adulteress conditioned to a spin-cycled submission.**

**You know, sometimes it just feels better to give in.**

**-- 'My Blue Heaven', Taking Back Sunday**

**_________________________________________________________________________**

**Alice**

My conflicted mind and my weary heart sat alongside Jasper and I on the almost completely abandoned beach. I had purposely set them aside; I didn't need them to bother me just now. They had bothered me too long.

Jasper was stretched out easily across the sand, etching into it with a thin stick he had acquired on the journey from the van. He rarely fidgeted as he could not abide empty gestures and actions without immediate, pragmatic reason. His meaningless doodles therefore unnerved me.

"What's eating you, Jazz?"

That's all it took for everything to come to the fore. In hindsight, anything I could have said just then would have set into motion the exact same pattern of events. As he would later tell me, he'd already made up his mind in the van. So when I asked the question, he just looked at me. But, I mean _really_ looked at me. The sort of look that you can feel, that makes goosebumps of apprehension appear on once smooth skin. I braced myself. Whatever this was, it was enough to make him drop his composed exterior. Therefore, whatever was eating Jazz was epic.

But he didn't utter a single word. He carried on gazing at me, as though all of his focus was trained on the single goal of collecting my aesthetic information and storing away in the labyrinth of his mind. He looked almost wistful. And then I knew he was going to speak the unspoken.

Or, not.

Jasper moved toward me, fluid and sure. He stopped when he was mere inches from my face, savouring my shallow breaths. Never taking his eyes from mine, he cleared the remaining space so quickly that I barely had time to take a breath before his lips crashed to mine.

Oh, the _release_. The explosion of feelings I felt at that moment of impact felt even better than all of the delicious tension that we had cultivated so well up until now. My body reacted violently; blood sizzling as though hot in my veins, muscles tingling with the astringency of adrenalin. Wave upon wave of warm, soothing relief from my past heartache came with each movement of his lips against mine. He was massaging them, licking them clean, kissing them better. Tending to my wounds. Jasper's kiss symbolised so much more than a show of affection, more than a release of tension. He was granting me a reprieve from the despondency of my heart. A reprieve from Edward.

He moaned into my mouth as I brought my hands to the sides of his face, locking him there. I held onto him as though I was holding on to my own life. I needed this, how could I doubt I needed this?

We stayed like that for a long time, each savouring the newness of the situation and the new sensations that were brought about with it. I couldn't bring myself to let him go; the deluge of emotions had left me weak. If I let him go, I was sure I would cry and that could never, _would _neverhappen.

After what seemed like an eternity, I felt strong enough to release him from my grip. I waited patiently for him to speak. He needed to label the situation, not me. Besides, I didn't think I was capable of formulating words.

"I've been waiting for that for a long fucking time, Alice." He dimpled at me in between panting breaths. I knew this. I knew it wasn't an impulsive reaction; he had always liked to insinuate that if I was game, he was too. The only thing I was unsure of was his intentions. If this were to happen, would I be just another fuck and run? That was Jasper's style.

"There's something else I've been waiting to do for a really long time, too," Jasper all but whispered. I was startled to find that he looked ill at ease; no, scratch that, he looked downright _uncomfortable_. Jazz was the most together person I knew and yet, here he sat across from me, eyes darting around and twisting his t shirt much like Bella had done. I laid my hand on his to get him to stop fidgeting. The fidgeting bothered me more than any unspoken declarations. Much like he had earlier, he took this advancement on my part as a cue to look at me, right in my eyes.

"Alice I fucking love you, alright?" He shot up from his spot across from me, stalking off toward the sea. I sat there like a marooned fish, opening and closing my mouth, eyes wide and staring.

Of all of the things he could have said to me that moment, I would never, ever have suspected that. But Jazz didn't do love, he did sex. That's what I had been expecting, not this. I gulped. What was I going to do with this? I didn't love Jasper. I had been rather unsuccessfully trying to close off my heart to make sure I wasn't capable of such emotion, and now I was expected to open my heart to somebody again? I couldn't. I just... couldn't go back to that place again. Love was bad. Love _hurt._

But... what if I didn't have to be _in_ love with him? He could make me happy, and there was no denying I wasn't extremely attracted to him. He was beautiful, inside and out. It wouldn't be lying, for I would never utter the L word to him. I didn't think my mouth was even capable of formulating that word anymore anyway.

I leapt to my feet and ran after him. The cool air soothed my too-warm skin and the run made my dormant mind race. I could do this. I could be with Jasper. I could forget Edward.

As I reached him, he turned slightly. He looked surprised. What, he thought I wouldn't follow him? I barely slowed down enough before our mouths crushed together. Our resulting kiss was wild, messy and passionate. It was a telling kiss, working to provide an insight into our fledging, flawed relationship. It was the perfect beginning.

"I love you, Alice." He murmured into my hair as we broke apart and held each other. I nodded.

________________________________________________________________

After that perfect day, many more perfect days followed. Me and Jasper were together now; two rebellious screw ups who had united to become a force to be reckoned with. We were the talk of the whole damned school. Jasper even knew of my previous dalliances with Emmett. He didn't seem to mind. He'd uttered the L word to me again, and I still hadn't said it back. He didn't seem to have noticed. Too perfect.

Equally as oblivious was Edward, who was acting as though he had no knowledge of my new relationship. He had been avoiding me of late, and I could not conclusively say that it was not because of Jasper. My feelings about that situation confused me greatly. It was as though he didn't care that I was with another, and I was certain that I shouldn't care about that information one way or the other, but the reality was that it was eating me from the inside out.

It was fair enough if he had never shown any predilection toward me, and for the most part he never had. At least, not enough for my broken heart to heal or even garner enough strength to cultivate some hope. But there had been _something_ over the summer. There were the smallest hints of jealousy regarding my relationship with Jasper, and even my relationship with Emmett, who I saw not even once a week. He had seemed as though he wanted the exclusivity of my attentions...

Oh, what am I doing, torturing myself like this again? I don't want Edward, I want Jasper. Hell, I've _got _ Jasper. If Edward wants to act as though I don't exist, then so be it. If it makes it easier to separate myself from him, then I'm as game as he is.

**Edward**

I cannot stop thinking of Alice.

I want to stop, heck, I've triedto stop, but I can't. I just... _can't._ She's what makes me me, as naturally a part of me as an appendage. **(A/N.. That's one of my more strange allusions..I cracked up when I wrote it) **Nothing rids me of the memory of her touch, her smell, her laugh...

Yeah, I'm as hooked as I ever was.

To save myself, I've focused all of my attentions on Bella. Sweet, unassuming Bella. Her pure heart and chaste affections have kept me sane for the last twelve days. We'd done everything together, homework, La Push, the obligatory movie-and-dinner-date. It was lovely and it wasn't Alice. I'm not sure whether or not I meant that in a derogatory sense.

My relationship with Bella is good and solid, but I still cannot bring myself to conclusively label it as 'a relationship'. I cannot wholeheartedly commit to the idea. Especially in light of the reaction that I had upon seeing that Alice was with that Jasper guy. The surprise quickly gave way to rage and jealousy. I was consumed with it. I could not be with Bella whilst I felt like this for another. It wouldn't be fair. Right now, Bella could never rival the hold that Alice has upon me, she could never compete with the strength of her siren call.

I needed to resolve this thing with Alice. Everything needed to come out, I needed to make her decide what I should do. Lay the outcome on her shoulders. I decided to go to the hammock that evening and wait for her; to go back that familiar, neutral territory and lay it all out for her once and for all. I went. I waited.

I waited for hours. My resolve slipping away with every second.

When I finally heard her voice, any remaining resolve was gone. I braced myself for the imminent onslaught of emotions, my heart constricting with anticipation. However, the emotions I was met with when she finally came into view were those of an entirely unexpected kind.

Puzzlement... jealousy... pure, unadulterated _fury_. For Alice was not alone. She had entered the garden in someone's arms, kissing, touching, writhing.

But Alice was not with Jasper. She was with Emmett.

I did not wait for them to notice me before I spoke. I would not give them the luxury of composing bodies and their comprehension of the matter.

"Well, Alice. It seems like you have the pick of the bunch these days." It was spiteful and I knew it. But I was just so damned angry... didn't she know what I had come for? What I was prepared to offer up?

Alice bolted from Emmett's arms, considerate enough to look sheepish. I don't think I'd ever seen her flush. Emmett simply stood with his arms folded, daring me to say anything to him. It wasn't him I cared about.

"Oh, Edward, it's you. I thought it was Jasper." She sounded relieved. Relieved? Did she not care that it was me that had caught her like that? The realisation trickled over me like a cold shower. Of course she had wanted to save his feelings and not mine; she didn't care for me that way. She was not mine. My heart no longer felt constricted. It felt cold.

I fixed her with a stare. She stood patiently, waiting for whatever information I had waited for hours to tell her or at least bequeath to her my scathing appraisal of the situation. I could give neither. I couldn't give anything to her.

She changed tack. "Please, don't tell Jazz, Edward. It's just some fun. Please? It doesn't mean anything." I gawped at her. She thought I would tell him? I would never betray her, how could she even think that? My body sagged with the twisting and churning of my emotions, under the weight of my sore, heavy heart. That was it. That was the last fucking straw. I had to cut her off. I could never, _ever _tell her what I was going to tell her; I would be bound to her forever and I just couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't deal with Alice anymore.

And that was when I told her to stay away from me. At last. After all those years of unspoken hurt, it was all resolved with four simple words.

And then she cried.

____________________________________________________________

**Busted! Angst! Crying!**

**Okay, I'll be updating in a few days probably. I can't stay away from this story for too long. In a similar angsty fashion, this chapter was brought to you by 'My Blue Heaven' by Taking Back Sunday and 'Vampire Heart' by HiM. Enjoy!**

**And thanks to tk-square as a pear for alerting my attention to the alarmingly bad typo... it would have been a very different story if you hadn't spotted it!**

**.**


	6. You Bring The BMX, I'll Bring My Love

**Screw it, I'll start my work tomorrow. Here's another chapter for you... I left the last one on too much of a cliffhanger to concentrate. I really am going away for a little while now!**

**And so cometh the big turnaround. This chapter was a little harder to write, mostly because it has more dialogue than the others (even though it's still not a lot). It also has a few important plot developments, so the progression feels more tangible. It's also a bit longer than usual.**

**Let me know what you think :)**

____________________________________________________

**Change  
everything you are  
and everything you were  
your number has been called.**

**Don't  
let yourself down  
don't let yourself go  
your last chance has arrived.**

**-'Butterflies and Hurricanes '– Muse**

____________________________________________________

**Alice**

I don't know why. Really, I don't. The best I can offer is that I have always been a staunch advocate of the 'act now, think later' approach to life and Emmett had offered himself to me on a very cute plate. It made no sense in terms of the progress I had made with Jasper, I know. I know, I _know_. It's that damn love of controversy again, following me like a spectre.

I'd hated that it was Edward that had caught me. I'd especially hated that I'd burst into tears when he did, but that is one page of history that I had already quite forcibly torn from the book and thrown into the fire.

The look that he had had on his face was still haunting me. He'd looked so deeply disappointed, almost wistful, as if I'd had the potential to rule the world and instead I'd settled for looking after the books. The embodiment of crushed expectations. Maybe he should be better friends with my mother. They'd have a lot in common.

I was so ashamed after Edward had stormed from the garden that I'd asked Emmett to leave, too. I needed to pour over the words that Edward had spat at me. Did he really never want to see me again? How could he say that? He was, for all intents and purposes, my best friend. He normally forgave me anything, what had made this time so different?

Here I was again, a slave to Edward's predilections and abhorrences. Yeah, so I had fucked up. What was it to him? He had no right to look at me like that. No right at all.

I sighed. As well as the act of committing adultery, apparently I also lacked the appropriate skill for not projecting my blame onto other people. I needed to make this alright again. I was tired of being the villain all the time. Whereas before I would have revelled in the drama... now it just felt _old_. Jasper had changed that in me, slowly but surely. Drama was okay as long as it was with him, me and him against anyone and everyone. The act with Emmett had been careless, one last foray into the life that I had before Jasper. It was not enjoyable in the least.

And now I had pissed off Edward and I wasn't entirely sure why he was so angry. Edward was important. I needed to bury all of this unspoken tension between us and channel my melancholic energies into something good for a change. Damnit, I wanted to be the good guy.

I didn't want him to look at me the way he had ever again. Just thinking of it made me want to zip myself out of my skin and hide away in shame. I had actually taken a shower to scrub myself clean of that look- how morose and dramatic is that? It was symbolic though, like I was washing away all of my questionable practices and just... the badness. Anyway, don't knock it, it had worked for me. I decided there and then to stop getting bogged down with my selfish thoughts. To be human again in my own right, not just to borrow second-hand humanity from all the wrong places.

All of those thoughts had led me here, to Edward's doorstep, two days later; nervously awaiting a response with good intentions and a smuggled bottle of Cava. I'd decided a mature chat needed a mature drink.

I had no reservations that he would probably slam the door right in my face. I wouldn't blame him, though I could not pretend to understand why he was be angry enough to do so. I still had no idea what I had done to upset him so personally.

It was with these unanswered questions etched into my mind and my expression that I faced him when he opened the door. He looked awful; so resigned and blank, not even surprised to see me. I'd done this to him. How could I have done this to him? His eyes were the only part of his face to appraise me as he stood and waited for me to speak. He hadn't slammed the door in my face but I instinctively knew he wasn't going to make this easy for me. My mind was working overtime as I digested the emotional complexity of the situation whilst trying to remember the words I had carefully practiced for this precise moment. They just would not materialise. I was getting desperate and Edward was growing ever more irritated at my silence. _Well, this is going well._

"Edward, I'm just... sorry. I'm really sorry." I blurted, my voice breaking and squeaking in a most unnatural manner. I was never unsure of anything. But then again, I had never fought with Edward.

His eyebrows shot upward at my jumbled outburst, but his face softened as though he had overheard my wary thoughts. He nodded curtly and disappeared into the depths of the hallway. I followed, Cava in one hand, my pride in the other. _Well,_ I placated. _At least I was in._

______________________________________

Edward's house was exactly the same layout as mine, hardly surprising as they were built right next door to each other. But for two houses that were built identically, they could not be more different. Where Edward's house was orderly, clean and very, _very_ beige, mine was crazy, eclectic and purple. And yellow. And green and blue and pink. In fact, it seemed as though every wall of every room was some bright, contrasting colour. It was very much my mother's house and very much not my father's, who was a beige kind of guy like Edward. I was glad I wasn't a beige kind of girl, but sometimes I liked the consistency that you got with beige. The calm normalcy. Maybe that's why my mum was with my dad. I couldn't imagine the crazy debacle that would have surely come about should she have ended up with a purple-yellow-green-blue-pink guy. The world didn't need that much craziness.

I followed Edward into his spick-n-span living room and settled into a couch, legs crossed underneath me like a child. I offered him the Cava with a small smile. He accepted the offerance as graciously as a good host should, with equally as small a smile. I wasn't used to such practiced conventions; he was trying far too hard to be polite. I didn't come for antiquated niceties. I had come for the truth, however ugly it may be.

"Edward, I didn't just come to apologize. I came because I need..." I trailed off, offering myself one last chance to escape, not quite believing that I was about to do this.

"What more could you possibly need, Alice?" His tone was acidic. So he had been holding back, I knew it. This is good, I needed this.

"Help." I finished. "I need your help. I need you to help me to be good." I stopped, reconsidering the potential of my resolve to actually live up to what I was asking. "Or, at least not be bad." Yes, that was more likely. I ducked my head out of his path of his gaze. This was painful.

"Alice, I'm not sure I can do that." His words were cutting; sharp and to the point. Not wholly unexpected but no less painful.

"At least tell me why, Edward. You owe me at least that."

He flushed red with anger. "I owe you nothing, Alice! Why must I always be the one to look after you, to pick up the pieces of your various messes? You owe _me_, Alice! You owe me everything, I owe you fucking nothing!" He snapped his mouth shut, breathing heavily. We gawped at each other. Edward had never, ever raised his voice to me, and he looked as shocked as I felt. I was the first to recover.

"I don't understand. What do I owe you? What have I done to you? Please, tell me what I've done to hurt you so badly. I can't stand it." He shook his head and went to move away. I jumped up from my position on the sofa.

"No, don't shake your head. Answer me, Edward. What have I _done_ to you?" I pushed his retreating frame, gently at first, then more roughly as he continued to move away.

"Edward, please. I can't stand this. I need you!" My voice broke on the last word, and, surely enough, then came the tears. The tears that had been building inside me ever since the first moment that I realised that I loved this beautiful boy. The stupid, pointless tears that had been locked away for so long and now seemed to be a frequently unwelcome occurrence. I hated the weakness that I was showing, but I needed him to see that I meant what I said, that I truly did need him.

He stopped in his tracks, shoulder sagging. Turning, he took one look at my tears and crashed into me, hugging me hard and fast.

"Don't cry, Alice. Please. It kills me to see you cry." His voice was still as rough and as hard as before tear-gate. "If I tell you, I have to tell you everything. It would either make or break us, and I don't think I have the strength for either." I nodded, heart sinking. I did not completely understand but I was always empathetic to feelings of emotional weakness. "But I will", he added. I let the tentative blossom of hope unfurl in my chest. I could wait, I guess. I didn't want to, but if it meant I got to keep Edward, then it was do-able.

We were still in that embrace when we heard the key in the door. We didn't bother to disengage ourselves, it would only be Edward's mother, back from work.

As she entered the room I had my back to her, thankfully. She had an amazingly annoying, shrill voice and I could not help but to wince at the sound of it whenever she spoke. That didn't mean I was going to be rude and wince in her face, though. It wasn't her fault she had a stupid voice.

"Edward, honey." She began. I bristled. "Look at who I found on the doorst- oh. " She cleared her throat uncomfortably as she clapped eyes on our entwined form. "Er..."

Evidently perturbed at the sight of the unnamed visitor, Edward swiftly released his arms from about my shoulders me and took a deliberate step back. I immediately knew who had been standing on that doorstep, not least because my shackles rose instinctively. I only knew of two people who had that affect on me, and I'm pretty sure my mum's presence didn't make Edward react as though I was made of nuclear waste. Nor did she, for that matter, bathe herself in strawberry scented perfume.

Without skipping a beat, I knew what I had to do. I calmly stepped forward and fixed a chaste kiss upon Edward's cheek. "Thank you for being such a good friend, Edward. I'll let you know how things work out." I gave him an encouraging smile before rearranging my features to meet the ones of incredulity that belonged to Mrs. Masen and Bella Swan. I shook my head sadly at them. "Only a boy can truly help with boy trouble," I commented gravely, stepping around them. "Goodbye Edward. Goodbye Mrs. Masen. Bella." I hoped Mrs. Masen would forget her long-harboured and somewhat irrational feelings distrust towards me enough to believe Edward when he confirmed the innocence of the situation.

Escaping from the shadowy hall out into the sunlight, I internally congratulated myself on my first good deed. It would have been very hard for Edward to talk himself out of that one if not for me, especially when he had acted so unnecessarily guilty. It was a good thing I was used to those kinds of damning situations.

All that was left to do now was to wait until Edward felt composed enough to tell me why he was so mad at me. It was an odd kind of self-imposed purgatory. If I thought about it hard enough I could probably unpick it for myself, but I didn't want to agonise over it. I would wait until he was good and ready. I owed him that much.

**Bella**

It was the real-life enactment of a recurring dream – or should I say nightmare - I had had for the past few nights. Alice in Edward's arms, Edward with his eyes closed, looking as though nothing else mattered. That was when my suspicions were confirmed once and for all. Edward thought he loved her, I could tell from the look of sheer contentment on his face.

I also knew that that look stemmed from superficial emotion, though, even if he didn't realise it yet. From what I could make out, he was borderline obsessed with that girl and that was very different to love. If it was meant to be a secret, it was very poorly kept; Edward wore his heart firmly on his sleeve.

I knew he only wanted Alice because she was a tease, an untapped, childhood infatuation. It was like the longing grown men had for that BMX they had never received for Christmas as a child. If, in their adulthood, they were to finally purchase one, they would realise that the feelings that they had been harbouring for it for all that time were simply a ghost of the ones they felt for back then, deceptively strengthened by time and glorification. Edward would realise in time, I knew it. I had vowed I would be patient the first time I realised the situation at hand, only a few days after I had met them both.

Don't get me wrong, I was far from being a pushover. Oh, no no no. I would never subject myself to the heartache of standing by and watching a boy I could potentially love follow another woman around with his tongue hanging out. I was a cynical romantic but I recognised something in Edward that kept me planted right there, firmly at his side. No matter how chewed up he was with Alice, he still had so much time and love and compassion for me. He always left his issues with her firmly at the door. I knew he wanted to get over her.

Though I didn't want to admit it, I knew the only way for him to get over her was to finally have that BMX, to see it wasn't as shiny and fun as it had looked in the shop. I knew that as I saw them in that embrace. I knew that it was necessary in order for Edward to be happy at last. It was the only thing that stopped me from ripping her throat out there and then for hurting him so badly. But, If I did that, he would be mourning that damn broken BMX forever.

I resolved myself to the promise that if she hurt him, I would break her. Edward was far too nice a guy to be messed around with and I was tired of being timid and treading on eggshells. I knew, should I be pushed hard enough, I would be more than a match for Alice. I was just biding my time for her to slip up. Waiting and watching in my self-exiled purgatory.

**I hope I didn't make Bella sound too crazy here. She's not at all; Alice just provokes extreme reactions from people. She is most definitely an absolutely-adore-her or absolutely-hate-her-guts her kind of person. Her scorned woman stance was also kind of necessary to show that Bella isn't always the 'nice guys always finish last' kind of girl. She really likes Edward and she's more than willing to fight for him. She also doesn't like Alice's attitude and is a teensy bit jealous of the hold that she seems to have on everyone. I hope that insight into Bella psyche was useful. It's hard to adequately portray her feelings because of all of the POV switcheroos. **

**As always, comments are lovely and very well received :)**

**.**


	7. Becoming Whole: Part One

**Alice's big decision... part one. It's a bit short as I am so short of time lately. This hasn't been betaed.. I'm sorry for the overlooking, but it was post now or post in a week's time. Next one will be more thorough, promise.**

**The love square with Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Edward is only a part of this story, so the resolution comes pretty early on in the story. Now, in fact :) Let me know what you think.**

________________________________________________________________________________

**Don't fool yourself,**

**she was heartache from the day that you met her.**

**My heart is frozen still**

**as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.**

**She's out there somewhere now.**

**--'Forget Her', Jeff Buckley**

________________________________________________________________________________

I awoke the next morning to the melancholic strains of Jeff Buckley, rising from the kitchen below. In my groggy state, I failed properly acknowledge the significance of what I was hearing. I laid back, smiling, enjoying the soothing lilt of his voice.

I hadn't heard this album since the last time... _oh, no._

Each bittersweet note urged me back to sleep as realisation dawned, willing me not to even think of the person that was playing it. It had to be her; Dad hated anything with a downbeat tempo.

_Mother's home._

She was hardly ever home. Why today? What could have possibly willed her to return just as I was preparing myself for the second biggest challenge I had ever faced. My absolution to be a good girl was second only to the problems I faced with Edward. A visit from mother was the last thing I needed, and yet here she was, downstairs, playing Jeff bleeding Buckley as if it were a calling card. That was mother all over.

I wearily picked myself up out of bed and headed to the shower.

***

Why is it you can never find anything when you're in a rush? I couldn't find any clothes enough for my quick and stealthy exit. Well, any clothes clean enough to be witnessed by the judgemental eyes of the gossipers of Forks. Looking for something suitable to wear was one of my daily struggles; I really did have to learn to wash clothes rather than leave it to Dad. The state my clothes came back in was enough to prefer wearing days old jeans to freshly washed but two-sizes-too-small ones. Muffin top? Not good.

I settled upon a worn pair of jeans from the bottom of my closet. Whilst rooting around, I found a sliver of white partially concealed under my bed. It was a wifebeater that Emmett had one left behind. It'll do.

_Huh,_ I thought disparagingly as I pulled it over my head. _Smells like soap and drugstore deodorant..._ _Jasper smells like spearmint and vetiver. _My heart constricted. Oh, Jasper. What am I going to do about him?

I shook my head violently. One minute all I can think about is Edward, the next I'm pining for Jasper. I really didn't know what – who – I wanted. Maybe both. Maybe even... neither? I did know that it wasn't fair to either of them for me to keep giving half of myself to each the way I have been doing. Hell, it wasn't fair to me. The stress of having to make such a prolific choice was weighing me down, making me feel like a shadow of my former self, the self before Edward burrowed his way into my heart.

I felt like an empty shell; broken and hungry for reciprocal love to fill the void I had created in myself. And yet I had one boy who I loved and did not love me; and a boy who loved me and I did not love in return. Someone up there was having a great time with this.

I couldn't face my mother today, not when I was feeling like this. We'd only argue and then I'd feel even worse when she inevitably barred me from leaving the house. I hastily made up my face and shook my knotted, wild hair out. Grabbing my purse and slipping my feet into my beat up Cons, I hoped it was somewhat warm out; in true Alice style, I didn't have a coverup clean enough to wear.

I climbed out of my window and dropped onto the top of the wooden awning. Climbing down the adjoining trellis onto the equilibrium of solid ground, I realised I had no idea where I was going.

So I just walked.

I walked and walked and walked until my Cons rubbed the tender skin of my ankles and I was drenched in sweat from the midday sun. I was going in no specific direction, I was following my intuition. I was willing it to tell me what to do rather than to make my own reasoned choices.

I stopped to sit on a sidewalk when the sun became too much to bear. It was quite a busy street but I couldn't remember where I was. It didn't matter. Each car that passed whipped up the dust from the side of the road, swirling it around me and matting it in clumps on my damp skin. I felt every inch as grubby as I looked. It was unexpectedly cathartic.

I'm not sure how long I stayed there. Long enough, no doubt, to earn some very strange glances. A solitary, forlorn looking girl sat there, covered in grime, waiting for something to come but not being entirely sure what. I rested my head on my knees in response to this thought. What was I doing? I wasn't sure I cared. Subjecting myself to such a public display of defeat was making me feel better and I wasn't entirely sure why.

I knew one of the three would find me eventually, if not instinctually then statistically. There weren't many busy streets in Forks. I was going to put my destiny into the hands of fate. Whoever came, I would give myself to them wholeheartedly. I would end this insipid recurrence of events. There was only so much heartache I could stand. I would forget the others and focus upon becoming whole again. I smiled at the thought. Yes, that sounds lovely.

Surprisingly, I had no real preference as to who it would be. I wasn't sure Emmett would be a good choice, but if fate willed it then... so be it, I guess.

It was an hour after I'd first rested my head upon my knees that I sensed a presence.

I raised my head, mentally preparing myself to look into the face of the boy I had resolved myself to be utterly devoted to.

Instead, I was met with a pair of bronze eyes. Bronze, long-lashed, disdainful eyes.

"Oh, it's you." I muttered, declining my head once more.

"Feeling sorry for yourself, Alice?" Bella's icy tone made my head snap up. Well, this was out of character.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean." I replied just as icily. "What do you want?"

She frowned, her plain features looking downright ugly now. "You know what I want. You know how much of an axe you hold over my head." Now it was my turn to frown. What the hell was this girl talking about? I asked her as much.

"You and Edward obviously have this unspoken... _thing _going on. You need to end it. Either you both get it out of your system," she winced at the thought. "Or, you tell him goodbye. I will not let another second of his heartache pass by."

I sat there in complete and utter shellshock. My jaw hung open like it had been detached from the rest of my skull. Edward... heartache... me?

"Again," I almost stammered. _Almost._ "I'm not sure I know what you mean." I gathered myself up off of the sidewalk and squared my shoulders. "You cannot mean to tell me that Edward feels that way toward me. That is not possible."

Bella's face softened just enough for me to realise that she had expected an entirely different response. "Look, Alice. Edward loves you, you know this. You do, even if you've kidded yourself otherwise. And I – I know that you love him." The last words came out in a rush, as though she forced them out of her body in spite of great personal injury.

My first instinct was to be defensive. I had held this secret for too long.

"I do _not._" I growled. "I _can_ not." I couldn't hear this. I had been so close to being willing to give up on my love for him forever, only to be dragged right back by false hopes to square one.

"You do. You shouldn't, _I _wish you wouldn't. But, you do." She shrugged wearily. "Look, I'm not giving you a free pass to him but... just sort it out, yeah? Now that you know. "

She turned to walk back to a red truck that I had never even heard pulling up to the sidewalk. Climbing in, she called out one last time before speedily pulling away.

"Just make it easier on all of us."

Easier, indeed.

The release of tension that I felt as Bella pulled away was resounding, yet it left me cold. No least because she had just confirmed what the tiniest, most niggling of voices had been whispering to me since the summer. What I felt wasn't completely unrequited. On some level, I did know it. And yet, I hadn't stopped torturing myself, instead choosing to pursue other boys. Did I love him as much as I thought I did?

For that reason, and that reason alone, I decided not to change my plans. I would not give up on fate. Fate brought me to this spot, fate had brought Bella to this spot and fate would bring my boy to this spot. I knew it would only be a matter of time, I just had to wait.

And I did. I waited and waited until the dusk set in and threw long, out of focus shadows across the sun-tinted gold pavement. The balmy air kept me both cool and warm, but I knew that it would start getting too cold soon. I hoped I would not have to leave before my fate was sealed, but my instincts knew I would not have to be there for too much longer.

Twenty minutes later I still sat, my arms wrapped around myself, rubbing to create warm friction. My slight tremors gave way to full blown trembling as the cold well and truly set in.

Then, I heard footsteps. Relief swept through me. My waiting was over. I kept my head down, not wanting my face to betray my emotion when I finally clapped eyes upon the person who had finally come to rescue me from myself.

A heavy, warm jacket was placed around my shoulders silently. Then an arm as whoever it was sat down beside me. The suspense was painful and yet I could not bring myself to look.

"Alice," he breathed.

Oh... _oh! _

Thank God.

**Comment :)**

*****


	8. Becoming Whole: Part Two

**First of all, thanks for sticking with the story.**

**Sorry about the almighty cliffhanger at the end of the last one, this one should clear most of the love stuff up. Thanks to my beta Emma (Let's Dance Without Music) for encouraging me with her lovely comments. She made me feel not quite so bad about the non-canonness :) **

**This chapter is the means to a new beginning. All the love trouble is, for the most part, straightened out and paves the way for some fabulous adventure.**

**________________________________________________________________________________**

**Some random, though fitting lyrics from my archive today :)**

**Questioning her good intention  
Jealousy's a bad invention  
When you push on glass, it's bound to break**

Even when she was defensive,  
It just gave me more incentive  
The more you squeeze, the more it slips away

'**Pins and Needles' – Billy Talent**

**________________________________________________________________________________**

**Edward**

It sucks, this loving Alice palaver.

I've come to think that either I love her or I'm completely fucking obsessed with her. I hope it's the latter... Bella thinks it's the latter. She thinks I could wean myself off of her like some sort of addiction. The long talk that we had after Alice left revealed all of Bella's anxieties and all of my weaknesses. It was a bloodletting; letting out of all the pain in order to cure me of my Alice ailment. It felt so good to talk. It felt so good to talk to Bella.

Beautiful Bella with her doe eyes, all meekness and glowing skin. She's the type of girl I used to imagine myself with. Hell, she's the girl that Alice used to be before her mother reappeared. Now she's this wild, unassailable, assaulting-my-better-judgement Alice. But I could break it. I could definitely break my obsession; the cracks were already beginning to show. The control I was regaining felt good.

I was laid out on the bed, listening to some unidentifiable, mellow rock when I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door.

Alice?

"Edward, it's me," Bella's sweet murmur carried through the ingress. The familiar, docile tones stirred my body and electrified my nerve endings. Sitting up, I called out.

"Come in."

Stepping through the entryway, rosy cheeks and alabaster skin, I could not help but smile. She really was a beautiful girl. Her cheeks warmed further under my appreciative gaze.

"I hope you don't mind me dropping by unannounced. Your mom let me in." She twisted her bag strap in her hands. "She, uh, told me to come on up here."

"It's no problem, Bella. I wasn't doing anything." I tapped the space on the bed next to me and she obliged the invitation, perching awkwardly on the edge of the mattress. The angle at which she sat made it difficult to see her face. "What's up?"

"I have a confession, Edward." There was an element of defeat in her posture, hunching her forward to make her words seem even more rushed and muffled. A sharp pain streaked through my chest and I absently grabbed at the material covering my heart. She was going to tell me she was fed up of waiting. I was sure of it.

"I saw Alice today." Alice? As soon as it had began, the pain stopped, replaced instead with the creeping, dull thudding of anticipation.

"I, uh... I told her," she gulped. "I told her what you feel for her. And what she feels for you." Nothing but a strangled noise escaped my lips. I saw myself reflected in Bella's apologetic eyes; bewildered and quailing.

"She was surprised when I told her she loved you. Like she hadn't even admitted it to herself..." Her words trailed off as she gauged my wordless incredulity. She waited, flinching.

"What the hell, Bella?" It was all I could muster. But my rage was slowly being dwarfed by my relief, so much so that the only emotion I could muster was a sort of mild antagonism. It was not relief because Alice finally knew how I felt. It was more like a reprieve from the shackles of my raging teenage hormones, from the subjugated control of Alice. Now that the tensions were spoken, they seemed not as magical, not as forbidden. Not as exciting.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I had to do something. It feels like you're sinking, and you're dragging me down with you, because.. uh..." She faltered and began to fidget with her bag strap once more. I found her eyes, encouraging her with a small, though genuine smile. Her lips quirked gently. "I love you Edward."

She... _what_?

All of the blood in my body rushed to the warm recess of my heart and back again, my nerve endings twitched and danced. I could feel the love that had long been locked away fight its way out of its prison, swirling to the periphery of my body in a dance of liberation. The release was better than anything I'd ever felt, whilst the same four words were stuck like a broken record in my mind.

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to respond just as a sharp knock at the door resounded around the room. To say that the knock startled us... well that would very well placed irony. Whilst I was snapped out of my reverie, Bella jerked awkwardly and fell with a heavy bump onto the floor. I tried not to smile as I reached over and helped her back onto the bed. She grinned sheepishly and rubbed at her elbow.

"Ouch," She murmured, inching further up the bed with one arm.

_Bella... my daft, clumsy Bella._

My mother's head popped around the door.

"Hi kids. Alice's mom just called, have either of you seen Alice today? She hasn't been in touch for hours."

Bella stopped smoothing down her ruffled hair and clothes and stiffened. I waited for her to say she had met with Alice, but the words never came.

"Uh, Bella. You said that you saw Alice earlier, right?" I chided. Bella flushed the deepest pink.

"Oh, yes. Of course I did." She fidgeted in her discomfort. "I saw her on Church Street. She looked a bit lost. _Figuratively and literally_." She added the last words under her breath.

I snapped my head around to look at her. She awkwardly shrugged, averting her eyes from my stern gaze.

"She's not my favourite person, Edward, so I'm not sorry I didn't do more to help her." She whispered.

I shook my head infinitesimally, my mouth set in a firm line.

"Don't worry, Mom. We'll go find her." She nodded and left the room silently.

Hastily grabbing my coat and my keys, I reached the door before I remembered Bella, or, more specifically, her admission. I dumped the coat and keys and held my arms out to her. She threw herself into them, though seemed resigned. I wanted to let her know that I loved her too, but I couldn't vocalise it yet. At the risk of sounding like a cheesy film cliché, it was just too soon.

Sensing my discomfort, she squeezed me so tightly that I thought she might hurt herself.

"Edward, please know that I believe in you. I know what you're capable of and I know your strength. Alice is just a girl, please, just remember that." She mumbled into my chest. I buried my face in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent and savouring the softness on my face. I could have this all of the time, if I just let Alice go. I knew I could do it, and Bella was the best damn incentive there was.

***

We drove downtown as quickly as we could. Although it seemed the most likely place to find her, Bella couldn't be sure that Alice would be in the same place as she saw her that afternoon.

We held hands as we listened to the erratic, drum 'n' base beats of Pendulum. I wanted to change the music but that would mean slipping free of her warm, soft fingers. It was a concept not even worth thinking about.

As we approached Church Street, I slowed. The street was practically empty.

"Are you sure this is where you saw her?" Bella nodded emphatically.

"Park up. We'll walk it. She was sitting on the pavement when I saw her, but it's dark now. She may have walked."

Parked up and slipping out of the Volvo, I rushed to the passenger's side to hold her hand once more. She grinned up at me and snuggled into my side. I smiled wider and clutched her small frame flush to me. That nerve-tingling, blood whooshing feeling came flooding back immediately. I really did adore this girl. I'd give her anything, do anything for her. She had never asked me for anything, save me figuring out my feelings for Alice. Bella hadn't even asked me to love her back.

"Bella," I murmured and kissed the top of her head. I was intoxicated. She could be mine. "I love you, too."A small gasp escaped her lips.

My head snapped up. Wait.

The sound was too far away to have come from Bella. I glanced back down at her, bemused. She was stiffening in my grip.

"Alice." She growled, her usual meekly-delivered tones laced with steel. I followed her gaze with a faltering heartbeat to the other side of the street.

And there she was. Dishevelled and dirty but glowing, her mouth puckered into a perfect 'o' shape. Alice's elfin face layered with both disbelief and anguish.

And Jasper was sat with his arm around her shoulders.

***

**Alice**

I was so relieved. Jesus, it could have been Emmett that found me. As interesting as that would have been, I was tired of all of the games. I wanted to belong to someone and for them to belong to me.

That's why the unparalleled relief I felt when I heard his familiar Southern twang made me cry. _Thank God, _I'd thought before errant tears streaked down my face, no doubt cutting tracks in the dirt that had clumped on my cheeks.

I turned to face him, tears and all. I let him see me without my bravado and false promises and nonchalance. The result was less vulnerable, more defiant. I dared him to run away.

What he did next surprised us both.

He kissed me.

Jasper leaned forward, brushed the grime and salty water from my cheeks and kissed me so tenderly that I began to cry again. I sighed, contented.

"Jasper," I croaked. "How did you know where I was? What are you doing here?"

He cupped my face in his hands. "I looked for you everywhere, I had no idea where you were. I came to talk to you about... something." He shifted his gaze, eyes suddenly cold. He let go of my face. "I think it may be the same thing that has you sitting on a random pavement on a cold evening."

Ugh, did he have to mention the cold? I wrapped his jacket tighter around my shoulders. Hang on, did he just imply that he knew about my problem?

"How... how do you know?"

"Alice, I've always known. I thought it was just part of who you are and, fuck it, I liked you too much to question the way you were." He raked a hand through his messy hair and smiled sardonically. "I couldn't want you for your recklessness and then complain when it comes back and bites me in the ass now, can I?"

I gaped at him. How could he know? Better still, how could he stand it? I wish he would have the balls to tell me to grow up like Bella had done. I wish Edward had too, if Bella's bombshell was to be believed. _That's it, Alice. It's everybody's fault but yours..._

I made to reply but he shushed me.

"Sorry, just hear me out Alice. Look, I know it's who you are but... uh... do you think you like me enough to stop?" His frustrated eyes met with my wounded ones. "I just really, _really _like you. Fuck it, Alice I love you. I need you to stop with these others guys. That is, if you'll have me..." He trailed off, his usual standoffish demeanour crumbling by the second. It broke my heart.

"Um, guys? As in... more than one? There was only Emmett, Jasper." I choked out. Jasper looked perplexed.

"Edward." He shook his head at the mention of my oldest friend's name and buried his face into his hands. "You love him, Alice. I know it. The whole damn world seems to know it."

I felt myself growing furious. For how long have people been discussing my romantic tendencies?

"Why the hell is everyone only telling me this today?" I was all but growling.

"Well, most people tend to know when they fucking love people, Alice." Jasper shot back.

"Well, then maybe I don't love him!" I screeched, shooting up from my place on the pavement. Jasper's jacket thudded to the ground, the only noise in a long stretch of uncomfortable silence. Jasper took hold of my hand and gently tugged me downward. I did so gratefully. It really was freezing without the jacket.

"I'm sorry. It's just so difficult to read you, Alice." He shook his head resignedly. "The way you and Edward look at each other ... it's so _intense. _Like he wants to devour you."

I digested the information. Yeah, I looked at him like that too. It was fun...all my flirting with Edward was dangerous and fun. It was like trying to seduce a vicar; you know full well that he probably wouldn't return the advances but the effort was worth it just to see that satisfying flush of red spread across his cheeks. I knew Edward inside out. He was the closest person to me. But was that love? Certainly. Romantic love? Not so sure anymore. No, in fact that would ruin everything.

This certainly was an evening full of revelations.

"Jasper. I love Edward. He's my closest friend and my biggest ally. Anything else... it's just the thrill of the chase." I spoke slowly, honestly. "If I were to be _with_ Edward, it just wouldn't be right."

He nodded, placated but apprehensive. His eyes were clouded over and I knew he was gauging my honesty. He looked too serious, too unlike Jasper. I nudged him with my elbow.

"Besides, there's someone else who I'm abso-fucking-lutely crazy about." I grinned at him. It was true.

Jasper looked at me for a long while, just smiling. After what seemed like an eternity of me willing him to, he kissed me in unspoken resolution, long and hard. It was a kiss of contentment. The best kiss of my life.

He slung his arm around my shoulder once more, pulling me into his side. My hair tickled his nose and he sneezed and spluttered. Snorting, I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. This felt so good.

Our golden moment was broken by the sound of footsteps. A couple, across the street. Their muffled words drifted across to us, as unswervingly penetrating as the cool autumn wind.

"I love you, too." A man's voice. Edward's voice. The sentence that I'd heard him say in my dreams more times than I care to remember cut me right to the bone.

Of course he would turn up, why wouldn't he? The ol' puppeteer in the sky does love to yank my chain.

I stared at them, willing them to disappear. Jasper pulled me closer.

It was a faceoff.

**

**A/N**

**About the contrasting descriptions of Bella. Both Edward and Alice look at her with biased eyes; Edward sees her as beautiful because he is in love with her, Alice sees her as plain in comparison to herself. In truth, Bella is just as pretty as she was described in Twilight.**

**Let me know what you think about this chapter!**

**.**


End file.
